Sometimes there are Rules. They're sort of unwritten, unspoken Rules. And those are the worst kind because their invisibility makes them harder to bend or revoke.
For me it feels a bit like being in a spectral prison that I'm not entirely aware of, but can sense the restriction, and obey it. The guards, walls and bars are all ghosts, because they're made of the Rules. But sometimes I catch a shimmering outline; a ghostly edge that makes me stop and think.
Another way to think of it is being stuck watching a familiar and painful play put on by your life, and you can't do anything because you're just the audience.
I hadn't really thought deeply about this until last week when I read a post on Lucy's blog*. Then I started asking questions.
Because what if I'm not just the audience?
What if I knew what my captives looked like?
What if I realised I'm in The Matrix?
And what if I faced the Rules?
If I can do this, things start to change. I can start to interact with the rules. I can ask them what they are. I can ask them why they're there. And what they need. And maybe I can let some of them go.
And then I realise this is the sort of NVC-inspired stuff Havi has been talking about all along.
* I do realise that this isn't the way Lucy was talking about rules, I'm just taking the concept and applying it to my own life.
!!!! Paul! You are poet! A surprisingly ACCURATE poet because you're describing, lyrically and beautifully, exactly what goes on in my own head.
ReplyDeleteI'd never thought about it in quite this way before, but you're so right. So, so right. The prison! The ghostly warders - and the ghostly *walls*! The little spectral glimpses of the captors, and the vague idea that maybe some of them could be talked to. And maybe even released.
Yes, yes, YES.
You're amazing. And coming a lot closer to what I was talking about than you think. Right on the money, in fact.
-Lucy V (aka randomling)
Wow, I don't know what to say... thanks!
ReplyDeleteGlad I managed to capture your thoughts so well :)